A new life?
by cherisse
Summary: everything changed when they attacked me... it was the new beginning of my new life, and the end of my old life lemons in later chapters ..starts chapter 9
1. Chapter 1

**New life**

**prolugue**

**chapter 1**

* * *

_**what is life?**_

_**doing things for your husband and childeren or shopping with your friend or both?**_

_**that i cant answer right now .. because i love my family and friends.**_

_**i did everything for my family, cleaning, cooking , washing, in one word everything.**_

_**my friend bulma told me to relax and do something for myself.**_

_**but how can i relax? my family isnt normal..they need me to cook or wash their clothes and all that crap**_

_**many people think i love doing those things, but i dont, i wanted to do other things too.**_

_**but they did'nt care, they saw me the wife of.. the bitch of..**_

_**but i dont care what they say..i love my sons and my husband without them my life seemed incomplete.**_

_**but everything changed when they came.**_

_**that was the last day of my life.**_

_**everything went fast after that.**_

_**i couldn't feel anything.. they did it fast.**_

_**i cant remember who it was, the pain was unbearable.**_

_**i screamed and cried for help but no one was there.**_

_**i realised that this was the end, the end of my life**_

_**the beginning of a new life somewhere in heaven right?**_

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_**i know its short but its just a beginning**_

_**please review **_


	2. Chapter 2

**chapter 2:**

**(one day before the attack)**

I was sitting on the bed thinking about my life so far.  
was this it? is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life?  
I know i married a warrior, a strong handsome warrior

My husband goku. my sweet innocent, naive goku.  
How can i hate him right? i cant no matter what he does, i always love him.  
He is the first and the last person i ever want to think about.  
But yet at the same time i feel like im not important to him, not anymore.  
I feel like im being used.  
I wonder if He loves me like i love Him? When was the last time we did something together as a couple, and no i dont mean sex.  
I looked over at his side of the bed, it was empty.  
'What a big suprise' she said sarcastically.  
5 months of not being here with me in the same bed we used to share.  
Its always training now. he only comes home to eat and too take a nap on the couch.  
I feel damn invisible, he probably won't care, he's always thinking of training.  
Talking is no use at all he probably wont understand. looking in the mirrior i wonder if my looks has anything to do with it. why?  
Why am i here? why am i not with my father? why am i not having fun like the others

I asked my self sometimes, its simple I love my family, i'll do anything for them.  
but..i guess they don't feel the same way like i do. i'cant blame them either, i was way too harsh on them sometimes. i guess its my fault then.  
Tears were flowing down on my cheek as i think about the past forcing gohan to study. my poor son..what did i do..she whispered looking down on the ground.  
I can't do this.. im so tired. tired of being the person who i am today, tired of waiting,  
tired of my life.  
Will they even notice when i am not around? will they even care at all ?  
No..i must not think like that, they...will right?  
He will save me right? just this once? I...  
chichi?


	3. Chapter 3

Wow..its been a long time.. i know..im so sorry.. there were problems at school and at home..

so i couldn't finish one of my stories. i cant promise you when the next update is going to be

but i will finish this sorry.. im not going to leave it..

* * *

**6 months before the attack**

Another day without my husband laying here next to me in our bed.

''Can i still call it our bed? when was the last time we had sex?'

When was the last time he looked at me and said i love you.

I know goku isn't that type of person to talk about his feelings.

''Why do i expect so much from him?'' i know he is a warrior and

fighting means everything to him. but what am i to him?

'Am i his wife or friend?'' I feel like i'm a friend

''Why? am i not beautiful anymore? am i just a bitch who

yells a lot?'' kami...this is so frustrating..

Damit..i cried. i cant do this anymore.

''Mommy?''

I look up and saw my precious son standing outside the room with a confused look on his face.

''What is it sweetie?''

''Where is daddy?'' he said with a hurtfull tone, his eyes were red and puffy from all the crying

I looked shocked..''what.?''

''Daddy's is gone isnt he?why mommy?'' goten cried..tears were flowing down on his cheek.

at first i couldn't move..what the hell just happened.

''Mommy? why is daddy gone? why? does he not love us anymore?'' he cried harder.

I felt my own tears stinging in the back off my eyes as i looked down at my son.

I picked him up in my arms and brought him to my bed.

''Listen to me..goten..i said ruffling his hair, daddy loves us very much ok..don't ever forget that.

he is just training with vegeta''.

''But why isn't he here? why does he train everyday?'' he sniffled.

''He trains everyday only because he wants to protect us, protect everyone he loves, you know that

He wants everyone to have a happy life.'

''But your not happy are you mommy? i hear you cry everyday..your hurt aren't you?''

(this is not how it supposed to be, i am the mother for kami sake)

Goten.i'm fine don't worry about it..ok..im a big girl aren't i?'' i smile.

I guess so..he muttered. he yawned...rubbing his black beautiful eyes.

now lay down and try to sleep..i said kissing his cheek. he nodded and closed his eyes.

I looked at him for a few more minutes. he is not that innocent anymore...i thought.

I lay myself down on the bed thinking about the conversation.

''How?'' i tried not to cry infront of him and gohan..am i that obvious?

Tears were flowing down on my cheek.. Goku..i muttered..can't you see your family needs you?

''Family? is this what we are right now ? why?'' i love you so much

''Why can't you see it? Is it because I'm that awful? Probably..right?''

That's why you always training. I'm sorry I really tried to be a good wife for you

..sigh…goodnight..goku.

''Chichi?''


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: dont own anything!**

**Special note: so sorry for not updating earlier, i do what i can to make everything goes well**

**i can't promise anything. **

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**Chapter 4 **

'chichi?' he walked away from the corner of their room._ well it doesn't feel like that anymore _goku thought

He heard and saw everything what just happend between his son and his wife.

'I'm so sorry.. i have to do this.. i have to get stronger for you and our family' he said walking closer towards their bed.

'I know i wasn't... i.. it hurts a lot you know'.. he said looking down at her face. chichi was sleeping peacefully but still she looked

somehow different to him. its like she lost weight. it was kind of disturbing when he saw her in this state.

He frowned at the thought of it. he touched her soft cheek, slowly stroking it.

'I love you he whispered in her ear, i really do and i promise to myself i will protect you no matter what happen'.

'You and our family is all that matters to me'. goku kissed her cheek before putting his finger on his forehead

He closed his eyes.

Don't...

Goku opened his eyes looking down at chichi with a smile upon her face. for a moment there was a silence between them.

They stared each other for a minute before goku leaned down and kissed her soft lips. chichi moaned in his mouth and kissed back, slowly

Their lips moving gently.

'Please goku... stay with me' she said finally breaking off the kiss.

'Chichi...i...

'Please..you're my husband and i need you.. don''t you feel lonely like i do? its too much for me goku'.. her tears were stinging in her eyes.

she turned her face the other way around. 'I miss you, its been more than 6 months goku.. i dont know how long i can take it anymore

'Something is different..like im a friend..am i that to you? do i mean anything to you?'.her voice sounded harsher

Tears were flowing down on her cheek and falling down on her blanket.

'Chichi..i'm so sorry, i did'nt mean to hurt you..i really did'nt.. it just happend'.. he fell down on his knees looking at chichi with unshed tears in his eyes.

_what was he talking_ _about chichi thought._

what are you talking about goku? she asked turning her face and looked down at goku. _was he crying? since when? this must be serious_

_and that means something bad has happend._

She cupped his cheek, wiping his tears away with her fingers. 'Tell me goku...what is it'..she looked seriousand scared at the same time.

Goku's hands were shaking, his tears were flowing down like a waterfall, I'm sorry he muttered.. i did'nt meant to...

Chichi stood up and brought goku back on her bed looking at his face. she was confused and shocked at the same time.

_something most bothering him, this so unlike him..what could it be? it must be a really big thing that caused him troubled like this_

_why do i feel strange..im scared._

'Chichi..promise me something..he looked her in the eyes and touched her cheek. promise you will be there for me no matter what happens.

'Goku... what is this all about?' she raised her eyebrow.

''Please chi, promise to me''.

..'.I promise goku.. i promised the day we've got married that i would be there for you forever, i love you goku and i always will be,

now tell me what is bothering you, maybe i can help you?'

'No'..he whispered.. he removed his hand on her cheek and placed them on his legs, his eyes staring at the ground.

goku?

...

''Something happend and im sorry i really am''..

_she's never going to forgive me.._


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note: it stil is 6 months before the attacks**

''Something happend and im sorry i really am''..

_she's never going to forgive me.._

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**G**oku?... 'you're scaring me...what is it?' her eyes watering afraid of what it might be that goku lost control over with.

'I....do..you love me?' goku asked looking at the floor. his hands were shaking, images of the incident playing in his mind, over and over again.

'What?..you know i..love you, ?' her voice were trembeling, knowing something bad had happened to her precious goku.

'I want to know how much you love me? because i...love you so much..it's hurts chi,,it hurts so much'.

'Goku? please look at me, it hurts me to see you like this, i love you so much and our family'.

His body froze for a moment and looked up to see chichi smiling.

He narrowed his eyes and turned around with a anger look on his face.

'I've have to go', goku said standing up**.**

_What...i'm so confused right now..what the hell is his problem..im getting very frustrated._

Stop chichi said grabbing goku's arm. 'Tell me.. what's bothering you.'

Chichi........_i'm make sure that everything is going to be fine even if the worse happends._

It's best for me to go.....but'..

'Please i beg you to stay with me.. is it me? am i horrible?' why aren't you here at home with us anymore?'

I..i...i... i feel so lonely...im getting tired all of this , Goku.. i want you.. my husband back chichi said screaming, her wholy body was shaking.

'I need you she said crying, i need my husband back, just for once ....be my husband'. chichi said turning goku around.

He saw the hurt he caused in her eyes, he slowly placed his hand on her cheek wiping her tears away. she was sobbing like a little girl

A beautiful woman she was and he was happy that he made the right choice for marrying her.

She was his no matter what happens. he leaned down at her beautiful flace placing his soft lips on hers

How he missed her full lips and her touch. she slowly kissed him back with his tongue licking her lips begging for entrance.

She parted her lips his tongue slowly entered her hot mouth and massaging her tongue. they both wanted to last this moment forever.

But he knew he had to stop before this could lead to something that he wanted very much.

_Damit..this feels good, Goku thought._

Chichi wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing him closer to her body, kissing each other all over their faces.

tTey finally parted from each other, catching their breath from their hot kissing session.

'Chi..i have to... he looked straight in her eyes before looking down at the floor. to tell you something' he finished

She was screaming in her mind, screaming for this moment, screaming for her future, their future, together as husband and wife.

Her eyesbrow raised up in confusion.

'Alright' chichi said wrapping her arms around herself.

'Chi..i _i hope everything goes well, this is it. _

'When i heard this i couldn't stop thinking about us and our sons.

and i hope somewhere in your heart that you will forgive me for my ...mistakes' Goku whispered the last part.

Chichi did'nt like where this was going she did'nt know if she would be happy or angry about this.

That scared her , not knowing what it is, seeing goku struggle with something was defentily not good

'The reason why i stayed at CC was ......

'Momma?a sleepy voice said, rubbing his eyes with his hands.

Chichi turned around and saw her son rubbing his eyes and stretching his arms,

'Momma were you talking to someone?' goten asked hugging his teddybear.

It's your..fat..she turned around... ther she said now looking confused.

_he's gone..?now what she thought _

Goten looked confused raising his eyebrow up. 'Momma?does daddy... want ....to .. he played with his fingers.. tears were forming in his eyes

be a family like we used to be'? he said quickly.

Chichi looked shocked for a moment before she quickly ran over to her son and hugged him,

'Of..course he wants too.....she whispered after all he loves us'..she said tears were forming in her eyes.

'Now sweetie..go back to sleep...everything will be....

MOM....!

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I know , I know.. last chapter and this chapter are very short ( ** sue me for it **)

But i did that on purpose..

After this chapter everything 's going to make some sense, that means longer chapters

I'm going to let you know who the attackers are...At some point :D..hehe..

the next chapters are going to be important !!!!

don't miss it ..


	6. Chapter 6

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**hi..guys.**

**i'm sorry for not updating any of my stories**

**its been a while. but there is a reason for it.**

**i've lost a person who i loved and cared about a lot**

**and for now i cant focus on my stories right now**

**i cant say when i'm going to write again... but right now**

**i need time for myself.**

**i apologize for everything.**

**xx cherisse**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: this is after goku left his house ..aka..after his meeting with his wife.**

* * *

** Chapter 5 **

** ( flashback)**

Chichi'...he whispered.'  
I'm so sorry..he cried out.  
I'm confused and..i feel so lost, so empty,  
tGoku? a female voice called behind him.  
he shuddered at her voice but looked over his shoulder.  
There was a woman with curly blue hair and eyes that could look into your soul.  
She looked tired, her eyes were a little puffy..probably from crying.  
She knew he didn't love her. his heart belongs to someone else.  
She felt jealousy towards the unknown woman. she wanted him.  
'Shia..you're awake'..goku said a little bit suprised, he rubbed his hands together.  
'Of course..iam..without you in our bed it feels somehow different'..she said looking in his deep black eyes.  
he narrowed his eyes..'it's not our bed'he whispered..he didn't like the sound of that.  
It is..right? i mean you're here everyday..sleeping in my bed.. so it is yours right''.  
'Just..stop..he groweld.. what do you think you're doing..?' Nothing.. she said trying to look innocent. _i have to keep him for myself.. i will do everything to keep him by my side.. after all..he is my mate.. i have to make sure everything goes well._

Goku do you regret what we did last night?' she asked looking annoyed.  
she played with her fingers nervously, afraid how he would react.  
His body froze..his hands turned into fists.. how can he be so stupid..?  
he has a loving beautiful wife and childeren at home probably waiting for him..and here he is with this stranger ( well not a stranger anymore if you shared a bed with her) he thought bitterly.  
'Can you leave me alone'..i want to concentrate on my training'..he said coldly looking away from her.  
'NO..shia replied angrily.. what's more important than your damn training goku?' My family now get out before i do something that i will regret..please._ chichi...i promise to our family and friends i will make it beter, we can be a family again. just us and our sons. the guilt was eating him inside and out..how could he promise someone else ...no matter what happens our family is all i´ve got and all i want._

'Not untill you hear my news first..and believe me..its very important..and you have right to know.  
but promise me first..'  
'No..he groweld..i've promised you one thing and that is enough for me'. he said stepping closer to her.  
'Goku..please its important..'she pleaded while looking at him.  
'NO..i gave my family up for your own damn promblems..so tell me your news or i swear to kami will..'  
'I'm pregnant..'she said looking at him. she felt relieved..anger and guilt inside of her.  
she wanted to tell him sooner but she was scared of losing him.. the father of her child.  
guilt because she knew she tricked him into this..she thought he loved her. angry because she is not his wife.  
goku froze..his heart stopped for a moment as he realised ...  
Kami..anger..regret all those emotions were stirring inside of him. 'you're the father..'she whispered as she felt her cheeks getting wetter.

**( End flashback)**

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**Author's note: i'm back.i know i've said i wasnt sure when i was going to write again but i felt really depressed. not writing makes it somehow i dont know ..worse.**  
**and i know it helps because i keep a diary..it sounds stupid but it helps..**  
**so here i am . anyways enjoy.. and review.. ask questions if you want.**  
**peace and love to you all my reviewers.**


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